You saw it right..my topic is about “How to lose your Ex in 10 Days”.
It may sound redundant and absurd because how can you lose someone who is already considered your Ex?
Earlier I was talking to a friend over Yahoo. The conversation is like this (I just translated in English)
Friend: I hate myself.
Kikomatching: (In jest) If you hate yourself, there will be no one to love you so please love yourself first.
Friend: I want to be happy again.
Kikomatching: Why, aren’t you happy nowadays?
Friend: No..especially whenever I see my ex.
Friend: In Facebook
Kikomatching: So why are you still checking his profile if it pains you? Are you an addict?
Friend: I know..That’s why I’m hating myself for it.
Kikomatching: Well, you really must hate yourself then. Lol.
Kikomatching: Better read my blog than view his profile. It’s more entertaining than him. Lol.
Friend: I want to distance myself from him.
Kikomatching: So why don’t you do it?
Friend: So should I block him?
Kikomatching: Of course! Why not? If you’ll just hate yourself more..Then why should you swallow a bitter pill?
Kikomatching: Look at me. I’m inhibiting myself. And now our lives are peaceful.
Kikomatching: You’re actually giving me a good blog topic: “How to lose your ex in 10 days”. Lol.
Friend: Ha ha ha! Can you make it 6 years?
Kikomatching: Why 6 years if you can do it in 10 days?
Friend: Ok fine! (Silent for a while). I blocked him now!
It seem I may not show empathy to my friend’s misery but I believe each couple who has recently broken up will go through this stage anyway. But the thing is, my friend and her ex has broken up for quite sometime and she doesn’t seem to accept moving on. For now at least.
So really, how could we lose our Ex in 10 days if it is actually possible?
It always feels painful after a break up because by coming out of a relationship, we are losing not only a partner but the memories and dreams that goes along with it.
Many people try different ways to move on.
Some eat or drink out of depression. Some have a new hairstyle or hair color. Others shop or travel until their cards are maxed out. However, all of these are just temporarily relief from the grief.
So what are the expert’s advise in dealing with this situation?
1.) Give yourself a break- allow yourself to “heal”. Don’t force yourself into too much work just to forget your misery. It’s alright to perform less than your optimal level for a certain period of time. If you push yourself to the limit, it will give you more stress.
2.) See the light at the end of the tunnel- Your goal is to move forward. Don’t over analyze the situation and keep the anger, bitterness and resentment. Life is good with or without your ex. Dwelling on the past will make you stuck and can’t even do small steps to recovery. Always see the positive side of the situation.
3.) Spend time with people who uplift your spirits and value you as a person-This could be your family, well-meaning friends or a professional counselor. It is important for you to be surrounded by people who gives you positivity.
4.) There are still happy endings in this world- It may sound too surreal but surely there are great relationships which are similar to “And they live happily ever after”. It may not be happening this time, but it will come.
5.) Go out and try to build new friendship (and eventually relationship)- If your last relationship went sour, it doesn’t mean all relationships are doomed. If you feel you have lost your friends or social activities before, it’s time to catch up or build a new network. Do activities that interests you. Who knows, your better half may just be around the corner.
It’s no guarantee that you will lose your Ex in 10 days following the tips above. But if you have the drive, surely you’ll go a long mile.
To my friend (she who-must-not-be-named here), I hope you read this post and take my piece of advice.. Good luck.